‘Darling have you seen my black marker pen anywhere?’ Called Simon from the kitchen.
‘Which black marker pen?’ Hannah was upstairs. Here we go again, she thought, he’s always losing something and there’s always an angry, manic search for it, until I remind him of where he’s put it.
‘Have you been moving things again, tidying up? I keep saying, don’t move my stuff!’ shouted Simon.
As expected, now she’s getting the blame for moving it. ‘Right I’m coming down and if I’m the one who finds it I’m going to stick that pen right up your jacksie!’
Five minutes later Hannah walked into the kitchen and immediately noticed that her irritable husband had found his marker pen. ‘Where was it then?’ she asked.
‘Where was what?’
‘The pen, the bloody pen! Christ Simon, I sometimes wonder about your state of mind.’
‘Don’t sweat it Han I’m just a bit busy right now and I couldn’t find my marker pen, this one, the indelible one.’ Simon was pointing down at the kitchen table. ‘I wanted to make sure this parcel was written up in permanent ink. And I really don’t think there was any need to suggest sticking it up my jacksie by the way.’
‘Well, you’re always losing stuff, and then blaming me for moving things around.’
‘But you do move things around!’ exclaimed Simon. He felt angry.
Hannah strode over to the table and picked up the pen, ‘Right, that’s it, this, is going where the sun don’t shine,’ she had a wry smile on her face.
Simon decided the best course of action was to run. He still had his dressing gown on so felt somewhat vulnerable. Hannah chased him around the table a few times until the fun evaporated. Later, as they sat down to eat breakfast, they were smiling at each other. A good time; anger defused. Hannah had a knack of defusing his occasional, irrational, anger.
It’s the emotions that leave their mark. An indelible mark if you will. And when we think about memories and their nature we can begin to see the beauty of the human brain.
It is the glue of emotions binding our neurons together.
When we recall a memory a particular set of neurons is stimulated in a particular sequence. This occurs through an electrochemical process. We can speculate that the stronger the emotions, associated with a particular memory, the more permanent the glue between the neurons becomes.
For example, where Simon had placed his marker pen, the last time he’d used it, had no particular significance in his mind. The action contained no emotional marker. It had less importance than the memory of his partner having moved something on a previous occasion. An occasion where there was an emotional marker: anger. He’d felt annoyance at that time and it was this memory that became most relevant.
In fact, we can think of the memory, and his annoyance of not being able to find something, as the cloud preventing him from finding the pen now. The pen had simply disappeared from where he thought he’d put it. It’s as if his mind was expecting to not find it. He was assuming it had been moved even before he looked. Anger and frustration was the result.
During hypnosis Simon recalled an interesting memory . . . The first time he felt annoyed at something being lost.
He’s young and at home. He can feel his father’s annoyance; something was lost. He could hear him blaming his mother for moving it. He was shouting, banging cupboards and doors, and there was real anger in his tone of voice
It was a simple process for Simon to link and connect that memory, with his recent anger and irrational reactions, at home. He began to understand how his fathers frustrations and anger was something that had frightened him as a child. It was the unresolved confusion, along with the associated emotions, that had been driving a lot of his anger as an adult. Because of this understanding he was able to rationalise and modify his future behaviour. He never blamed Hannah for moving his lost items again.
Hypnosis creates the environment for healing
Hypnosis is a fabulous and much underrated tool. We can create a suitable environment with hypnosis for the safe recall of unfinished business. We can better unstick the mind when we’re under hypnosis. We can come to understand that Analytical Hypnotherapy can quite literally change lives in an instant. Hannah will never again need to work so hard to defuse her husbands irrational anger.