Many of us want change but we don’t want this change if it means changing.
That last sentence might initially sound a bit nonsensical, however, it’s only when we see the truth of the human condition are we able to unscramble it’s meaning.
I’ve met a lot of good, well-meaning people, over the years who’ve wanted change, and yet no matter how good and well meaning we might be, this holds no sway if we continue to lie to ourselves. We can want change and we might seek help, but even then we are predisposed to perform a kind of dance, with the people we’ve found to help us.
The dance is okay provided your dance partner knows how to avoid stepping on your toes.
Most, if not all of it, comes down to fear. We fear the truth. We fear telling the truth because we are ashamed. This shame is of course misplaced and yet try telling that to someone who’s carried it around for years.
What we are in fact ashamed of is revealing our humanity; our weaknesses. We’re ashamed of showing our fallibility and embarrassed by the very fact we’ve been dancing around everyone, in an attempt to protect ourselves, from our guilt.
We don’t want to feel any worse than we already do, so why muddy the waters?
In an attempt to avoid any further upset we perform the dance. Avoidance, denial, lies, deceit and flirtatious gameplay are just elements of our repertoire. And the thing is, we can be spending a small fortune whilst doing it, and we dance and dance and dance.
As times gone on the lies and denial have grown. They have become such a weight around our shoulders that we can no longer manage.
As you can see, it can take a while to reach the point where we simply stop, stand still and admit we are afraid. Our feet stop moving, we stop dancing, running and avoiding. We reach the point where we’re able to acknowledge how terrified we’ve become of the truth.
You’re a human being and flawed because of it. Perfection is something illusory. We want that though don’t we? We think that if we just stay quiet, keep dancing, all will be well. But all isn’t well whilst we continue in our attempts to protect ourselves with lies.
Deep down we know how to be well and how to look after ourselves, so how is it we aren’t?
What stops us from eating well, exercising regularly and looking after our minds? Is there something within us that seems beyond our control? A craving we cannot satisfy? Perhaps our minds are full of confusion, misinformation, and untruths.
It’s true to say, that if we did start showing the proper respect for our minds and bodies, we’d be highlighting the inadequacies of others. These others might be the people we love, and becoming respectful of ourselves, and telling the truth to ourselves, might threaten the status quo. Just another fear to dismiss.
Dismiss them all and rapid change can be yours.