How do we gain this from each other? How do we get people to be attentive to our needs? Do we shout? Are we quiet? Both extremes can gain us attention can’t they? Perhaps we need controversy. Are we inclined to say provocative things? Are we antisocial, antagonistic or spiteful?
Think of the extroverts, they’re certainly attention seekers. Wild dress, or no dress at all! It gets them what they seek. All in all, on one level or another, we’re all playing some kind of game in order to gain the attention of others. We all want to feel less alone. More attention equals less alone.
“What, on the other hand, if you shun this and want time alone?”
Over the years I’ve known plenty of people who’re extremely adept at getting people to reject them. The ways in which rejection is achieved are myriad, and far too complicated, for this particular post. It’s true to say though, being alone, isn’t actually something many people seek. The majority of us are looking for the opposite of alone.
And so attention seeking is the norm. To understand the methods we use to seek it, we only need take our minds back to childhood, for a moment. Indeed, in this respect, it could be said that’s all we continue to do throughout the majority of our lives: seek the attention of parents. What we are actually seeking is love. As touched on in previous posts, love, is something slightly lacking at this time.
“Has the balance between love and fear tipped toward the negative and become the overriding driver?”
An abundance of love, found from within ourselves, would potentially stop the constant need to seek the attention of others. Would the unconscious need to seek love and attention from parents, be less prevalent, if we’d received it in abundance, when young?
“Children, with attentive parents, are less likely to grow into adults who seek it in a negative fashion”
Attention seeking adults are currently creating havoc in the world today. We could say this has always been the case. We could even say, the numerous and atrocious activities of violent people from our past, were just the activities of the unconscious seeking approval and attention from neglectful parents.
How would things be, if the human mind and its concept of love, were better understood? If there existed an authoritative rule book on parenting – that parents or future parents felt obliged to follow – would there then be less unrest in the world today?
One thing’s for sure, if we all stopped using such negative means, for gaining each others love, things would be a little quieter right now. How would it be if we all gained this through gently asking each other, about, each other? Would I have you then? It seems most want this through upset, anger, and controversy though don’t they?
They want anger and upset to do the trick. They’d rather this, than any fascination we might hold for their loves, lives, passions, successes, and yes, even their failures. Why is this? What’s happened to the gentle humankind? What’s happened to the interest we used to show for each other? How is it we’ve become so locked up within ourselves?
Would you like to tell me about yourself? What’s happening for you today? Can you believe in a genuine interest? Can you display the necessary confidence to be genuinely interested in another?